Merry Christmas!!!

I love you all!

I am so irritated today. The more I think about it, the more things just start bugging me. For those of you who have not heard the news yet, I was rejected from nursing shool. I've been trying to keep a positive attitude about it. Everyone keeps telling me "I am sure something better will come along" and "everything will work out just fine." I keep trying to tell myself these things also, but they just arent helping. Every time I think about it, I just want to cry. Today while at work I started looking at other options I could follow. Nothing just seems to appeal to me. All I really want to do it be a nurse. Now, I have no idea what to do. I have been trying to pretend that everything is fine...its not fine though. I worked my ass off to get into nursing school...and then I didnt even get in!!! I've been keeping this all bottled up since Saturday and I am about ready to explode! I was talking to Donnie yesterday and told him I didnt get it, but I was smiling at the time. He goes "why are you smiling about this?" and my responce was "I'm over the rejection...I've dealth with it". He gave me one of his looks that told me "nice try, but you suck a lying". So here I am, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. If you have any suggestions, please let me know.

Sorry if this was random and hard to follow. I am trying to type and work and talk to Nicole all at the same time. How is that for multi-tasking??!!!!!

I don't have time to do a full update right now, but I just wanted to give a special thank you to Joann for this AMAZING xanga design. Thank you so much. I LOVE it!!! P.S. I had so much fun at Chili's yesterday. Let's do it again soon. I love ya girl!

Oh yeah, Lana's site looks wonderful as well!!

I really should be studying!

So today is finals day. Only one good thing can come of this...last day of classes for the semester!!! Oh my am I excited. I cant wait to take my last final today at 2 and then not have to worry about doing homework or studying or going to school. I can work, work, work and save some money. Also, I can get my Christmas shopping done. So much to do before Christmas is here. AGH! I'm not sure that I have the time to get everything done.

I am starting to get really nervous about school being over this semester though. About 2 weeks and I find out if I got into the nursing program or not. I can't even express how nervous I am about this! The first couple of semesters I have thought it would be no problem to get into the program. I got all A's all the time...this semester is a different story however. I know for sure that I got a B+ in my holistics class. I am pretty sure I got an A- in my pathophysiology class...maybe an A. Pharmacology however is kicking my butt. I dont understand why I am having such a hard time in this class. At least I just have to worry about the final then I am done! The only problem is that I have messed up on a couple of my tests in that class...even if I got 100% on the final I cannot get better than a B+ in the class. These grades are not good enough to get into nursing. I will not be suprised if I get a rejection letter.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I am going to do next semester if I am not admitted into the program. At first I figured I would retake the classes I screwed up in and then reapply for the fall term for nursing. Thinking about it though I am not sure it is something I want to do. I don't want to take the classes over then get rejected again. That would just be a waste. So I signed up for classes next semester that will get me a nurse's aid certificate. Now I am not so sure I want to do this either. I thought I would be done by spring, buuuut after further investigation I realized that there is one class that is not being offered until next fall. Here is the problem...this one class is the prerequisit to the 3 classes I wanted to take in the spring. So you see my problem. I have been in college for 3 years now. I am just ready to be done! I dont want to have to wait until next fall to take one class. Grrr!!! So I got to thinking today (yes I know, this could be a problem...me+thinking=big trouble sometimes). I have always known I want to be in a position where I help people and save lives. I feel like I am inclinded toward service of other people. Whether I am just doing things to make them happy or actually saving their lives I want to help. Since 8th grade, being an EMT has been something that has intrigued me. Sheryl's fiance Matt is a fire-fighter who is going to train to be an EMT. Ever since I found out he was going to be an EMT I have felt a little jealous. He was going to be able to do the thing that I wanted to do with my life - make an impact on lives and be an EMT After a lot of thought I have begun to look into EMT schools. I was looking at Oakland Community College, but I really dont want to have to go that far to go to school. I looked up EMT training facilities online and found out that Mott has a program. So I emailed the director and found out that they do not offer a basics program, but Genesys Hospital and McLaren Hospital do offer a basics program. Genesys begins in May and goes for 7 months. That will get me my EMT-basics license. After there there is a 14 month prgram that would make me a paramedic. I think this is what I am going to do. I requested information. I am actually pretty excited about the prospect of becoming an EMT. But I still need to do a lot of thinking and actually find out if I got into nursing school which would be my first choice.

Oh so many decisions to make. I dont even know if that last paragraph made sence. It all just kind of came out...that is exactly what is going through my head at the moment. As you can tell, nothing in my head makes sence right now. Blah!!!! For heaven's sake, I am only 20. How should I know what I want to do with the rest of my life??? Yeah, I have NO IDEA!

Someone please help me. Someone please tell me what to do. Someone please save me from my insanity!

Wow...I have gotten real bad at updating this thing! I appologize...

So there really isnt a whole lot to talk about here...I have been working a lot...going to school a lot...doing homework a lot...yeah, thats about all really. Two more weeks of school and then the semester from hell is over! Ohhhh girl I am so excited! I am so stressed and just ready to be done with the semester. Words cannot even describe how ready I am for this semester to be done.

So it is snowing today. I am so excited...I love snow. I can't wait to see how the Jeep handles in the snow. That should be good. I am sure it will be much better than the stupid Grand Prix I was driving last winter that had no breaks. Yeah, that was a fun time.

Grrrr...I am so tired. It is 9pm and I still have one hour to go. Yuck! I am trying this whole myspace.com thing. Its kinda fun. I have had this profile for about 3 days now...today while i have been at work I have had 17 people either ask to be added as my friend or leave comments. My fave was "you are soooo gorgeous!!" Aww...nice that just random guys who dont know me will tell me I am pretty but the guys I do actually know have never told me so. Hmmmm....

If you are on myspace.com, add me as your friend!

This post was for Joann b/c she IMed me yesterday to kindly remind me that I had not posted in about a week. Haha.